Couples Empathy
Couples, hi.
How are you?
What a wild thing it is, isn’t it? Coupling.
I find it to be both incredibly fulfilling and confronting at the same time.
The couples I work with all seem to think they’re the only ones so let me begin by dispelling that myth.
It’s normal to be triggered in your most intimate relationship.
It’s normal if your partnership acts as a mirror for your old charged emotions from childhood.
It’s normal if your defenses shoot up quickly when misunderstanding happens here.
The couple field is a provocative one, in all the beautiful and challenging ways.
And it’s normal if it’s hard to communicate. It’s normal if it’s hard to hear each other.
What’s not normal is that we’re all doing it alone, in isolation. We know it didn’t used to be like this, and it isn’t meant to be.
Which is why I’d like to offer you my support.
This isn’t couple’s therapy, it’s Couples Empathy.
We get on a call. I invite you into connection with yourselves first as individuals, into awareness of what’s alive in you, using somatic experiencing tools.
Once we’ve arrived in the present moment, I invite you to take turns sharing what’s on your heart.
As you hear each other speak, you will likely feel some things. It might be hard to hear what’s underneath what your partner is saying.
And that’s okay. That’s why I’m here. I reflect back what I hear, checking if I got you correctly. When you feel deeply heard, you can begin to relax. Defenses start to melt.
I support you to find what’s moving underneath the surface. To identify the unmet needs that are asking for air, asking to be tended to.
And that’s when the magic happens.
When we can be with what is alive, we come back into connection with ourselves.
From this place of seeing our needs, we no longer need to blame the other. Instead, we can ask for what we need.
When both of you feel deeply seen and understood, and when we acknowledge your needs and your partner’s needs, the ideas begin to flow. The strategies and compromises, the things you could try, the ways you can be generous towards each other.
I don’t give you these ideas because I don’t need to. They emerge out of your empathic field.
I’m not here to fix it because nothing needs to be fixed.
I’m here to hear you. To hear the things that are hard to hear in the charged field of the couple relationship, and to help you hear them, too.
I have over a decade of experience facilitating dialogue, from war zones to bedrooms. It would be my absolute honor to walk alongside you as you do the courageous work of coupling.
Love and Logistics
Calls are between 60 and 90 minutes, we schedule for 90 and use what we need.
I believe in reciprocity and offer my gift with humility and gratitude.
To that end, I work with a sliding scale of 10€ - 300€
If you are someone who has more, you are encouraged to give more. In doing so, you pay it forward and lift up those who have less at this moment.
If you’re someone with less, there is a place for you here.
If none of these options works for you currently, let’s talk.
Which price is right for you?
Lower end of the scale: personal finances are unstable
Middle: stable income or access to financial support
Upper end of the scale: individual with investments, able to afford vacations
You can learn about where to place yourself on a sliding scale here
Others Are Saying:
"Ray, thank you again for your amazing ability to empathize, I feel deeply seen and understood. Your ability to use your words in this way is a medicine."